Gorillas in the Midst of PDX

So, I've lived in Portland and it's environs for over a decade. Some may argue that it will take another two before I could really claim to be a proper citizen. But I like to think I've been somewhat naturalized by having a son born downtown or that I've at least been adopted by the local community. I've walked every street, drank at most of the bars, and tipped a fair share of the strippers.

There are various landmarks in the city, many of which I've learned the history of, climbed, and/or been married to. Rarely does such knowledge, talent, or relationship get tested or prove of much use. Unless you are the hosting a walking tour, the best you'll get is mild banter out of it. 

Yet a scavenger hunt can prove to be the best use of such trivia (except an all PDX episode of Jeopardy is produced). So when the offer to join the Gorilla Challenge came in, I knew I'd found a very special calling.

The basic premise here is that you are given clues to various locations around town, upon visiting those locations you must provide photo (sometimes video) evidence of having been there. And not just any photo, you have to be doing something slightly questionable. Additionally, there are some mandatory physical challenges to complete.

A team of at least two people is required to participate and costumes are encouraged. So I gathered together my wife Joy, our long time friend Atheana, and new racing buddy Bonnie. We decided to go with a wedding party theme for our group. Since I was the only male it was obvious I should be the bride. Bonnie played my husband (in a tutu), Atheana a bride's maid, and Joy was the flower girl. We went with the name "Wedding Crashers"

As for the challenge itself, all contestants met at the Rock Bottom Brewery, got signed in, had a drink or two, and waited for the start time. While we mingled through the crowd I got complemented on being such a beautify bride many times. We met Mark Eisnehart (past and future American Ninja Warrior participant and fitness guru) and was interviewed by Laddie Read (of Mainstreamed Media, a platform for the disabled to be a part of the press). After a review of the rules, we got things started, with a quick jog to the other end of the block to get our first clue sheet.

We quickly identified our first item which sent us up to the former ground-zero for the Occupy movement, there we had to have a picture of one of our team members picking up another member in front of the pioneer statue. Then it was up to Ira Keller falls for a three legged, four fisted gorilla crawl. This was the first of our physical challenges. The next was a YMCA dance-off against another team in the park. Then, for gross-out factor, we had to spray "fruit punch" into another team member's mouth so they could spit it in a cup. Turns out the fruit punch was actually red dye and vinegar (lucky me Atheana had volunteered to be our taster for this challenge).

Other photo/video scavenger items including singing and dancing like a lemur in front of Portland's most tourist happy location, the Chicken Dance by a building dedicated to a candy maker, acting like a gorilla outside a benefactor of the homeless, a mimed tug-of-war outside the guardians of history, and Marco Polo by the worlds smallest park. 

We covered miles of territory during the event, scavenged ten of the twelve possible challenges (we failed an eleventh), and completed the event after two hours. We didn't win one of the prizes, but better luck next time.